Sunday, April 25, 2010

‘The Denzel Principle, Why Black Women Can’t Find Good Black Men’

Yeah, that's the title. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. A few days ago I was searching through my main library for something, I forgot what I was looking for but anywho I came across this book. Disregarding what I was originally looking for I decided to check it out, strictly for entertainment purposes though. I mean why else would a young, single black woman take time out of her busy schedule of starting a publishing company, going to school, writing, raising kids, etc., etc., to read this literary work of art? (Pause for repetitive dry heaves) What's the big deal with us black women and our personal lives or according to CNN, ABC and all the other big tyme news outlets the lack of one? Since when has it become a contagious, disability to be unmarried at 30? 40? 45? Does anyone question any other race of their personal decisions? Are we…

Damn I'm going to need to focus! 'The Denzel Principle', right. My original plan was to read the whole book and then write a review but the author Jimi Izrael (fitting name by the way) pumped the brakes on that idea real quick. The first page alone is enough to write a whole webpage alone! It starts out with him pulling into the driveway of him and his second wife's home as she and her new 'man' if that's what you want to call him after how the author has described him, are taking everything the author has purchased for his family during their marriage. He goes in on both of his ex-wives and that's a nice way to put it. He proudly bashes black women for wanting to 'change' every black man we come across. I love his theory on us seeking to 'fix' black men while white women take the brothas as they are and are perfectly content. Wow! Just when I thought we can save anotha brotha from hopping onto the other side because of a few bad relationships, he goes and says ain't nothing better than a black woman. Whew, that was close.

(Let me put this in before I have a lot of hate messages on my Facebook page and blog site from all of my white girlfriends. Do I have a problem with interracial dating? Only when I hear brothas disrespecting all black women and putting us in the category of being too loud, not submissive enough (or easy), gold-diggin', conniving, uneducated, should I go on? How can you say all black women are like that? Oh, and I forgot angry. Now I am an angry bitch I will admit, but I'm angry for different reasons than what a man may think. Is it right that I go into my relationships with this chip on my shoulders, no it's not; however sit down with me and have a conversation with a sistah before you automatically dismiss me as one of them angry black girls. Hell I gotta enough on my plate as it is, but to have my own people throw me away is a little disturbing. Unless your name is Lil' Wayne and you literally have fucked every girl in the world you cannot say all black women are like that. And it's just sad that you have to go that far to say ignorant shit like that anyway. You minds well slap yourself, slap your mama, and slap all of the black people back in the day that have fought and died for you black men to date these white women without getting lynched, at least not physically anyway. Can anyone say Tiger Woods?)

Ok now that I have that out of my system, shall I go on? Just when I thought that he was going to fill us with 300 pages of rants and rages of what is wrong with black women he decided to go intellectual. One point that interested me was when he described how Kevin Powell, Mr. Real World, is raking some serious dough for filling our heads with how a black man should be, yada, yada, yada. I can't get mad at anyone's hustle but at the expense of his own people? Let me see some physical proof he is bettering our community when it comes to eliminating abuse in relationships and bettering the black man, physically, spiritually, and emotionally because there is nothing better than a black man. He gets points for admitting that he was a womanizer, ok so now what are you doing to make sure other brothas are getting the help they need to get out of that mentality, ya feel me?

And back to that whole idea of 'fixing' a brotha thing! WTF? He did break down what a lot of brothas go thru and how we, yes I said we, feel that we need to change certain things like being a black man is like being a disobedient child in need of disciplining or molded into this perfect little package or 'The Dizzle' in his words. Get the book to get a description of what The Dizzle is. Ok, I admit, maybe subconsciously I go into a relationship wanting to kiss the man's boo-boo, throw some antibiotic ointment on it, cover it with a 'Superman' band-aid and hope and pray his flaws don't leave a hideous scar that I have to look at every single day for the rest of my damn life! So sue a bitch! Yes I want a black man who, in Jimi's words, who will work, play, fuck, cook, and clean with me. I don't want my man to be my girlfriend like some of these bitches do! Where they do that at? '…if a woman meets a man who won't respect them they shouldn't try to change him. They should move on and let that simple motherfucker live his life: easy.' I like my mama's version better, '…if a man can lie in your bed and have sex with you but watch you struggle and not help you, he ain't shit!' Ahhhhh, I'm with you when you're right.

To be continued…